What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a wasp nest the size of a football — only you wouldn’t want to play football with this because it is humming with activity. And it’s growing a mere four feet away from my tomato bed. Whenever I prune the tomatoes closest to this thing, wasps buzz around in dismay. What are you doing? Those are OUR tomatoes!

I don’t think so, my six-legged friends. But I’m too scared — er, I mean smart — to try to reason with them, and instead I steer clear. The wasps live on the other side of my neighbor’s garden fence, nestled along the edge of his towering weed bed tucked behind the hundreds of cloves of garlic. I’m not even sure he’s noticed it. I sure have!

I emailed the garden coordinator for suggestions. She said she’ll look into it, maybe with an exterminator on her side. Maybe can’t come fast enough for me.